Tuesday 15 December 2020

Even the Germans are laughing at us

The world has been laughing at us for some time.  Brexit is such an irrational act and some of the characters involved are ripe for comedy. I'm thinking of people like Bill Cash, John Redwood, Farage, Bridgen, Bone and so on. They appear on the television looking slightly demented, begging to have the mickey taken.  Spitting Image used to mercilessly satirise Thatcher's cabinet with men like Ken Clarke, Douglas Hird and John Major in it, but now we have ministers who are at best third rate and often just pathetically inept. I mean Gavin Williamson or Priti Patel, how did they get there? What a target.

But of course, they are only bit-part players in the Brexit farce. The lead character is the prime minister himself.  We watch his inner comedian come out as he announces that we will prosper mightily by erecting trade barriers to our largest export market, the trademark smirk playing on his lips. He knows he's lying and knows that we know it too.

Now German TV have apparently launched a new TV series (although it may just be a spoof) about Boris Johnson.  Based on The Crown - it's called "The Clown,"  as seen in this tweet with sub-titles:

The disclaimer at the end reads: "Actions and acting people are all authentic, even if you can't believe it".

This is just another industry that we started and had a good reputation for, But even in humour the Germans have learned quickly and overtaken us. 

Johnson is gaffe prone and the makers of the trailer must have been spoilt for choice. They will however, have even more to go at very shortly. 

Christmas and the New Year already look to be dangerous with coronavirus infections once again on the rise. But we are apparently going to be looking at shortages even before Brexit arrives in January.

I notice this on Twitter yesterday from someone in the haulage business:

I took the trouble to find out what Timocon is. You can see it HERE.  It's a kind of web based app that matches loads with trucks. If for example, you have a truck hired to take goods from the UK to the EU, the haulier might try to find a return load to be paid for both outward and inward journeys. People post the load on Timocon and truckers take the opportunity to collect and deliver them on their return.  Useful, eh?

Apparently, yesterday 72 loads were posted for the UK without any takers, the worst this haulier had ever seen in 40 years. To be clear this is not just confined to the UK, there are problems also in Spain and Turkey and shipping rates from Asia have doubled. This is I understand due to a shortage of containers but made worse in the UK by Felixstowe, our biggest container port, being clogged up with 11,000 containers of PPE.  But Brexit is not about to make things any better:

Continental truckers are avoiding the UK already because of the queues at Calais and Dover. This was the M20 yesterday:

Even a BBC reporter in the South East tweeted about the problem:

Manufacturers on both sides of the Channel have been stockpiling and this is I think the result.

The Daily Mail reported yesterday that the government intend to "wargame" issues in Dover tomorrow in an operation codenamed capstone.  This seems madness to me. You might try this sort of experiment when traffic is light but to deliberately make a bad situation worse seems crazy.

The Mail, the original Brexit supporting organ of the right, reported the sunlit uplands thus:

"Up to 900 extra officials will try to smooth over processes at the border, checking lorries and enforcing new import controls.

"According to the Sun on Sunday, Christmas leave will be cancelled for senior officials carrying out particularly sensitive and important roles.

"Some 14,000 military personnel on standby to help could also have their leave put on hold if they are needed.

"Hundreds of extra police could be drafted in to Kent to stop smugglers exploiting the situation by sending migrants across the Channel."

If they're laughing at us in Germany now imagine what it will be like in January.

I am beginning to think the situation may rapidly spiral out of control.  Food shortages and panic buying are not the sort of thing easily or quickly fixed and it's not impossible Johnson and Gove will find themselves at the epicentre of a huge storm in the New Year. A smirk won't help him then.

The talks continue in Brussels with some "limited progress" being reported but with the two sides still far apart.  We are witnessing the most insane trade negotiations ever.  I also hear talk of there being a period after 1 January where there will indeed be no deal - which I imagine means temporary tariffs and a big drop in trade.   The first couple of weeks in January may not be too bad in that case, but the big problems will come as we run out of perishable foods and JIT manufacturing grinds to a halt.

Finally, on Look North last night, presenter Claire Frisby I think, introduced an item about problems at the border for Yorkshire importers and talked of "customs problems if we don't get a trade deal" or words to that effect. She clearly didn't realise the customs problems will arise deal or not. They are a permanent feature of Brexit. 

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